(Updated version)
its the last post for 2005. there were ups and downs this happening year. it will be a long post.. gotto spare urself sometimes reading..
i knew a ger.. (its better not to post her name). we chatted on msn (weekends) and on phone (weekdays) during my bmt days. we 1st met at jan 05. 1st sight and after so many conversions, naturally i fall in love... we dragged or should i say a one-sided love? we were as close as couple but the truth was, we were only friends. i always think i have the chance to be the one. but i was wrong. i fall deep and hurt badly. i should know we will nv be together as i was rejected twice. a sentimental mi, i nv give up. i fetch her back from sch, watched midnite shows, ktv session in my dad's van, guided me around singapore as a "street directory" and frequent lower seletar.
one-sided love?
6mths later and i knew she likes someone for 1 yr!!! gosh!! my heart pops out when i saw the msg. they got together. i paused. she said "if she could forget the guy, we could be together.. " is it true? god knows.. 3mths later, they broke off and i continued. i really like her alot. she was busy with her stuff and i tried to slow things down.. i waited for 4 more mths.. wat the hell, the guy returned. freaking shit. i know they will be together. i asked for the very last time and i should give up. i was extremely sad. i dun ever have this gek sim feeling till i cant breath.
mths to overcome.. its really tough.
thanks to everyone esp lewis! without ur guardian i think i will not be on the right track now. single and available!! and i still believe true love!
life carry on..
i was enlisted in oct 2004 into police for my NS. was in training for 6mths. march 05, i was posted to Police HQ. was abit disappointed cos i wanna be a NPCO. well there is pro and corns.. HQ has a better life as in office hrs. was busy at work at times too. was involved in a big project. should keep it a secret. hehe
met alots of helpful and friendly NS guys. yeah we are the SK warrior!!
after so many online registrations on my police career, i finally got my 1st interview! was recommended by my supervisor and hope to get into the second one. wish mi good luck guys..
after 4yrs, i changed my antique 8855 nokia hp to a Ericsson 750i. haha ok boliao post.
my family..
my bro was enlisted this year. attended his POP. he was posted to OCS. i am proud of him. haiz his bro is a slacker and he chiong till siao.. hope his tough days will be over soon. my dad, he is not doing very well. his boss has taken back the van. he needs to take public transport. feel sad for him too. on the other hand, no van is equal to no supper and no late nites for mi. i am sad for myself too.. (haha)
friends..
i am quite disappointed when friends who come and go. sms to keep in contact, they dun reply. msn chat, they dun bother abt u. haiz.. i am very particular in friendship. but if u are those who really dun give a damn and step on my tail, u better watch out. trust mi! (wahh i sound very aggressive)
well there are still good friends like lewis, buddy like bruce and liting. best friend like geannie. these are friends whom i will nv forget and keep in my memories. u are my guardian angels!!
gum kaikis like yong zhi and wei dong. sharing the same thoughts and feelings. a group of joker friends in IT0116 like Jia Tao, Chee Boon and Meiling.. sharing good stuff among ourselves. really miss those time in poly when we copied and discussed work and project. playing mahjong at $0.10 and $0.20. haiz waste my time only.. hahah no lah joking.
i have a very special online friend named, Bi Jia. known her for 2 yrs and we haven meet. we always chat online and on phone. we share feelings. we share tears. she brainwash mi sometimes too. thanks Miss ?.. hehe
was very happy for friends who had celebrated their 21st birthday this year. there were many of them. 21 liao loh.. no more kids and we are getting old soon. i know u all will be pointing fingers at mi "u are older" haha right? well all the best to all of u.
had a friend who passed away during oct. though we are not close, but we shared the same thoughts to be policeman. for sure, u will be kept in our memory.
myself..
i am a very "gan chiong spider" person. with this gan chiong attitude, i fail alot of things. when things doesn't go smoothly, i will go hot-headed and my mind will be out of control. i feel extremely guilty for doing something on a ger during a period of time (dun think too much ok!). I did have hao gan on her but my gan chiong-ness got mi into failure. we quarrelled and almost to a extend of no friend. i hate the feeling and i hate myself too. hopefully our friendship will get better..
i wan to change myself to a better person. i thought after my BMT, i could change but i am wrong.. i am back to square-one. haiz..
set plans for this new year. wishing everyone a great year ahead. 12 more hrs.. lets warmly welcome 2006!!
Raymond (2005)
